My Name Is Faa

 Assalamualaikum and Hi readers... 🥳🎉🪅🎂🍰🥂

Happiest beday to meeee!! 🥹 Maigadd, dah level up ke 33rd 'floor' dah ni, ahakz. So, I just wanna give a little 'love letter' to myself 😬💛

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Dear self, Faa.... 💌

Today is your 33rd beday, isn’t it? How does it feel? Tired? Ke feeling like an old makcik with back aches, sleepy 24/7 and zero battery life? 😌 Happy? Like the kind of happy kids feel when they get new toys? That pure kind of joy 👻 or a little overwhelmed with the chaos of being an adult? I know your feelings are all over the place right now, but every emotion is valid, okiess 😘

But heyppp, it’s okay. You got this. You always do. And you’ll get through whatever obstacle stands in front of you, sama macam sebelum2 ni, kan... 😎 easy peasy :ppp

Faa... Thank You tau.  Thank you for being the Iron Lady of this small, imperfect, beautiful life of 'ours'. 🥹 🫶

You’ve survived sadness, heartbreaks, moments where you felt completely devastated, anger, rejection, loneliness.. Name it, you’ve been through it. You’ve walked through so many things while making your way into this pra 40-an of adulthood that nobody warned you about.

And every time you fell, every time you felt broken, Allah quietly replaced the pain with something else, also replaced with someone who truly understands you, someone who loves you tremendously, and a blessing you didn’t expect, a rezeki that came continuously, a calmness slipped into your heart so gently, you only realised it after the storm ended. 

Kan? Macam tiba2 je hati rasa lapang. Macam tiba2 je semuanya jadi okay again. That’s Allah’s way of hugging you without arms. In every journey, Allah writes plot twists, drama, happy moments and sad moments, all so you learn to be grateful. Sometimes you can’t see the hikmah while things happen. Sometimes you even deny it, buat2 tak faham. So Allah bagi second round, kadang level lebih susah sikit, sebab Allah wants you to finally get the lesson ✨

But you know what? You still made it. You’re still here. Still standing. Still breathing. Still moving. Still trying and still strong. Faa, thank you for surviving everything you thought would break you. Thank you for not giving up when the world felt heavy. Thank you for carrying pain that no one saw, and turning it into strength that everyone now sees. 

You’re the main character of your own world. So please... don’t destroy your world by being too basic, okey? 😭🤣 Be a little dramatic, it suits you and honestly, it keeps your life spicy. A bit of chaos, a bit of softness, a bit of random crying at 2AM, erkkk 😵 it makes the story you. You do YOU ❣

And, Faa... I hope this new age brings you closer to Allah, closer to peace, closer to people who deserve you, and closer to the version of yourself you’ve been trying so hard to become. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be honest with your heart. Give yourself permission to rest, to feel, to grow, to cry, to heal... and to start again, even if it’s slow.

Because at the end of the day, you’re still that girl who survived all her bad days. You’re still that girl who kept walking with trembling legs. You’re still that girl who smiles through chaos, who loves genuinely, who hopes fiercely. And that girl deserves a soft, safe, beautiful future. A future where she’s loved, protected, and at peace.

So happy 33rd birthday again, Faa. 🎂✨ May your heart stay soft. May your faith stay strong. And may your story continue... in the most beautiful way Allah has written for you 😎 

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😭🥹😃

And Since my beday falls on the same day as Children’s Day, I pray that the little child inside me is still there... craving for excitement, curiosity, wonder, and all the small joys that make life feel alive again. 🔥I hope she never disappears. I hope she still laughs at silly things, still gets amazed by simple moments, still dreams without limits, and still believes that something beautiful can happen 🌹anytime, anywhere.

Tak kira how old this body gets, no matter how tired the adult version of me feels, that tiny, innocent part of me is the one that keeps my heart soft, keeps my hope alive, and reminds me that life doesn’t always have to be heavy. 🥳

Sometimes.... it just needs a bit of childlike magic. ✨🪄

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And today, after a whole week of losing my spec and seeing the world in 20megapixel quality je, Allah returned my glasses to me. T____T Literally nak nangis sebab merataaaa I cari sampai buat appointment baru nak beli spec baru. And my neck strain pun finally recovered after the small hazard incident at my workplace. Big thanks to all my managers and bosses who handled everything so seriously and took such good care of me. 😍

Hari ini juga.... I finally received the good news I’d been waiting for. Alhamdulillah, for now I can breathe legaaaaaaaaa. Phewww 🤭🥹

Huge thanks to all my colleagues for celebrating my beday with a delicious cake. And thank you again to my family, friends, and my sayang for making my day feel like... a reminder that I’m loved, that I’m seen,
and that even on the days I break, Allah always sends people who help me stand again. Alhamdulillah and thank you everyone 💐

NotaKaki : Terima kasih Allah, untuk semua yang datang tepat pada masanya 🫣 🌻

 Assalamualaikum andd Hii.. 😪

Here, we go..

Aku tengah blank sebenarnya ni. Baru je balik kerja. And sekarang jam menunjukkan pukul 12:49 AM. Badan sumpah letih. I dah telan Magnesium + Sleep pun takleh lelap juga. Jap lagi ada kang I bantai layan movie Hindi sampai subuh ni kang 🤔 Ohye, subuh kat Perth dah awal sekarang, 3:27 minit pagi. Risau nak tidur dekat2 subuh, hewhew, takut terbabas  😁 Tapi ada je sebelum ni habis keje 2pagi pun, terpaksa tidur dalam keadaan duduk. Bagi senang jaga dengar alarm.  🥲

By the way, I've started collecting content to hupdate this blog. Tapi nampaknya, kekangan masa antara hobi baru yinnihh dengan routine hakiki belum nak bekerjasama dengan baik lagi.. uwuuuu 😭 Takat tulis journal 5-10minit tu boleh gagah lagi, Tapi... bila nak buka laptop dan menaip panjang sikit mula laa perangai. Malas cucuk charger laptop la, malas typing guna Ipad la. Craving something la, tetiba pegi basuh baju la, baking la, tau2 scrolling cari movie atau tonton Doraemon series 🤐 Haisyooo.

*Faa, dah2 la bagi alasan whatnot ni, malas cakap malas, takde idea cakap je takde idea. Tayah malu2 biawak nak bagi alasan klise 😝

Tapi takkan nak upadate hari2 pulak kan. Dah macam IG story pulak nanti, ngehehehe. 11 hari tu kira normal la kan ? Tak lama sangat dan tak cepat sangat, just nice lohh untuk manusia sepertikuhh yang menulis ikut mood dan tahap rajin 🥳 dan ini tahap ke-konsisten-an I so don't judge ehh. Pukul kang ! 

-1.25 AM-

Ngantuk dah, memang takleh pi dah ni. Ada kang esok pegi keje dengan mata Suzzanna. Babai korang, tamat sudah bebelan hari ini. Semoga terus membebel lagi in another 11 days (kalau rajinn) 🙄 

NotaKaki : Dengan nama-Mu ya Allah, aku hidup dan aku mati. 🤲 

 Wahhhh ! Kemaenn ber-belog2 :D hai korang ! *nebes kejap.

Me decide hari ini nak ber-belog pulak. Takde sebab sebenarnya. Tapi lately I rasa banyak sangat benda yang I nak tulis. Penulisan bagi I macam cermin, tempat I tengok balik diri sendiri dari sudut yang berbeza. Kadang benda yang kita tulis tu la yang tolong kita faham apa sebenarnya kita rasa. 

Sejak I mula menulis journal, I perasan banyak benda yang dulu I tak sedar tentang diri sendiri. Ada hari, bila I baca balik tulisan lama, I terfikir “eh, ni betul ke aku yang tulis?” Macam tiba-tiba nampak sisi diri yang I tak pernah kenal sebelum ni. Kadang, bunyi ayat dalam jurnal tu pun macam A Samad Said :p Mungkin sebab I sedar, pandangan I terhadap dunia memang melalui penulisan. Sejak sekolah lagi, dunia buku dah jadi tempat I luaskan imaginasi. Library sekolah jadi tempat saiya ‘lari’ setiap kali waktu rehat juga tempat lepak setiap kali habis kelas :D

Actually masa kita signed up blog tadi kita baru perasan email yang I guna ni dah di-register blog pada Feb 2019. Hurmmm.. I hilang ingatan ke bagaimana -,-' Apasal I boleh tak ingat pasal ni ? Mungkin la masa tu ter-sign up tanpa niat ? Tak sengaja ? Tak perasan ? Serius tak ingat. :((

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Setahu I la, I penah ada blog masa zaman I studi kat KLMU dulu. I ingat yang memang I delete dah pun blog tu :p Kalau la teruskan minat blog dulu, mungkin sekarang dah jadi jutawan blogger, ahakkz. Ewah, banyak cantik muka hang !

Anyway, hi korang. I tak pasti masih ada ke geng2 blog walking, mungkin sebab sekarang mostly orang dah tak baca blog. It’s okay! I’m blogging again not to be famous or anything. I just wanna share bits of my life, something I can turn into memories through writing :))) see, skeaping tau :p 

A few moments laterrrr... (bancuh grean tea sat)

Balik pada timbul minat dalam penulisan, yes ! Sejak, beberapa bulan yang lepas. Benar cakap, since I mula journaling, dan dari situ lah semuanya datang balik. Rasa rindu nak menulis, nak bercerita, nak simpan setiap rasa dan kenangan dalam bentuk perkataan. Macam ada ruang kecil dalam diri yang akhirnya jumpa tempat untuk bersuara.

So dengan ini, kita isytiharkan bahawasanya kita seorang blogger :D gelikk jijikk hahaha :D

I tak fikir pun lagi blog ni nak niche apa. I juga nak start blog walking balik cari kawan blogger baru kot masih aktif berbelog. Yang penting, I dah ada blog I. Blog I cantik, kaler pink, hewhewhew. 

NotaKaki : Nak edit blog cecantik tapi dah tak tahu nak cari kat mana coding2 tu. Hurmm, kena tengok YouTube la ginihh. 

Trust The Magic of New Beginning... "^_^"